So, you just read the fifty shades books and are interested in adding a little light bondage to your sex life. Great! It can be a lot of fun and really add some sexual heat to your life. Here’s what you need to know to help you on your journey.
First off, understand what makes it so hot. It’s not about pain, it’s about submission and control. Most importantly it’s about trust. Anyone who has been tied to a bed knows it’s a little scary at first. What is the other person going to do? What if I want to stop and they won’t? What if they hurt me and don’t understand that I’m serious? These are some of the thoughts that run through your head. Obviously safe words are a must but the fun is about not knowing what is going to happen… that is where to power is. Blindfolds are a great place to start. Leave the hands free and cover their eyes. If you’d like, tie a rope or mens tie to the headboard and let your partner grab onto it. This gives them the feeling of being tied up but without the fear that can really hinder the mood. Once you get comfortable with where this is going and where the limits are then it’s time to move to restraints.
Second thing you have to do is let go. Step out of your normal life and into this character that is going to do these things. You are no longer husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend or lovers. You are now sub and dom. Slave and Mistress or Master. Never step out of character. Always call your partner by their character. This helps build the fantasy and also separate the game from your real life. Bondage is about escape, not about who has to take out the trash or pick up the kids from soccer practice. Get into your character and embrace your role.
If you are the Slave the thing to remember is that being restrained is about NOT being in control. It’s about letting someone do things to you and you just have to lay there and take it. While you may be getting spanked, slapped whipped or pulled it can actually feel very good to have someone do that do you. If the dom is really into it they probably getting off on this as much as you are. That helps with your pleasure too. Knowing that you are giving them something they crave is very sexy. Be the slave, play your part and enjoy your role.
In contrast, being the dom lets you control another person completely. Tease them, taught them. Talk dirty and let them know what you are going to do to them. Build that excitement and anticipation. Then deliver the pleasure you both desire. It’s a lot of responsibility but if you know your slave well you’ll know how far you can take them. What little rewards to give them when you can tell they are struggling a little. A touch, a whisper or just the end of your riding crop gently nudging their junk may be all they need to get them all worked up again. Take them up and then leave them there as long as you can.
Now, you are going to need some gear to do this right. Places like The Kinky Stuff have a huge selection of leather and vinyl gear for you to choose from and they offer fast and discreet shipping so even your UPS man won’t know how kinky you really are. Get some cuffs, a whip, definitely a blindfold and the right outfit is a must. They have collars, leashes and restraints of all kinds so you can do just about anything you want.
Once your journey begins be prepared to expand your horizons. It’s a big world out there and you have just stuck you toe into the deep end of sexual behavior. A little always leads to a lot more.